Tales of Sousaphonia
by The Lone Monkey
Summary: What's this, you ask? Tales of what? What does that mean? If we only knew... Read about the misadventures of Floyd, Cauliflower, and the rest here! You can ask new questions about the gender of certain halfelves! And find out what a sousaphone is!


TALES OF SOUSAPHONIA

**The Lone Monkey: Oooooooooooo sousaphones… The Lone Monkey likes sousaphones. Do you know what a sousaphone is?**

**Floyd: Of course I do!**

**Genie: No you don't!**

**Floyd: (Hangs head) You're right… (Perks up)Oh well. What is it?! Huh? Huh? Huh?**

**Genie: It's a brass instrument consisting of a large length of pipe, 4 finger valves, a mouthpiece, and a bell. It rotates around the body and is rested on the left shoulder. When played, it produces a deep, booming sound.**

**Floyd: …**

**The Lone Monkey: It's one of those curly tubas.**

**Floyd: OH!!!! I get it!**

**Genie: That's what I said…**

**The Lone Monkey: LIES!**

**Genie: Nuh-uh.**

**Floyd: Uh-huh.**

**Genie: Nuh-uh.**

**Floyd: Uh-huh.**

**Genie: Nuh-uh.**

**Floyd: Uh-huh.**

**Genie: Nuh-uh.**

**Floyd: Uh-huh.**

**The Lone Monkey: Zzzzzzzzz….**

**(27 ½ hours later)**

**Floyd: Uh-huh.**

**Genie: Nuh-uh.**

**Floyd: Uh-huh.**

**Genie: Nuh-uh.**

**The Lone Monkey: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1**

**Floyd: Geez took you long enough. I mean, 27 ½ hours? That's pretty ridiculous. You have a very high tolerance for annoying, don't you?**

**The Lone Monkey: The Lone Monkey's little brother is SkylerOcon.**

**Floyd and Genie: Ohhhh. (that's an oh of discovery and understanding)**

**The Lone Monkey: Yeah. But anyway! The Lone Monkey has been doing this stupid intro for far to long! It's time for the story to start!**

**Floyd and Genie: Yay story!**

**DISCLAIMER: The Lone Monkey does not own Tales of Symphonia. Nor does The Lone Monkey own a sousaphone. Nor does The Lone Monkey have the right to change characters' names, but The Lone Monkey does anyway. The Lone Monkey begs you to not be angry. And to review his first story EVER! Heeheehee.**

(In a schoolroom in a small town called Gee Sales! Yeah!)

Floyd: Zzzzz…

Genie: Wake up!

Floyd: Zzzz…

Cauliflower: Wake up!

Floyd: Zzzz…

Payne (bulging with muscles and speaking in manly Russian accent): (Throws eraser) VAKE UP! (Flexes)

Floyd: OWCH! Your bulging muscles are too strong to be throwing things at defenseless children!

Payne: I DOHN'T CARE! I NEFFER LIKED DEEFENCELESS CHEELDRENS EENEEWAY!

Floyd: That's not nice… sniffle sniffle… (bursts into tears) WAAAAHH!

Payne: OH SHUT AHP!!!

Genie: You don't even like me, your little sis- I mean brother?

Payne: AHF COURSE I LIKE YU! YOU AHR MY LEETLE SEES- I MEEN BRATHER!

Cauliflower: Stop being mean to Floyd! Just because he's oversensitive, weak, and helpless doesn't mean you can make fun of him!

Payne: WHY SHOOD I LEESTEN TO YU?

Cauliflower: Because I'm the Chosen!

Genie: Oh shut up. We all know that you made up that stupid title. There's no such thing as a Chosen.

Cauliflower: Nuh-uh!

Floyd: (still crying)

Payne: SHUT AHP GEENEEE! COLLEEFLAVVER EES RIGHT!

Cauliflower: See! I'm the Chosen!

Floyd: (still crying) No your not.

Cauliflower: Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?

Floyd: (stops crying) (finally) (thinks for a minute) Good question! Actually, I can change sides. (runs to Cauliflower's right) (runs to Cauliflower's left) See!

Cauliflower: That's not what I meant.

Floyd: So?

Cauliflower: (thinks) …True.

Floyd: Ha!

(A bright flash of light suddenly emanates from the window)

Cauliflower: Look! The Temple! It's time!

Random Man at Window: Nope, sorry. Just a power surge in my house. Blew out all the light bulbs.

Cauliflower: Awwww…

Random Man: Sorry.

(Another bright flash of light)

Cauliflower: Look! The Temple! It's time!

Genie: Are you sure?

Random Man: It's not me. Must be the Temple this time.

Cauliflower: Yay!!!!

Payne: I WEEL CHECK EET OWT! STAY HEER AHND STAHDY! OR I WEEL THROW MAHR EERAYSURS AT YU!

All: Okay…

(Payne leaves)

Floyd: Your brother is really mean sometimes.

Genie: Payne is my sister.

Cauliflower and Floyd: 0.o woozy woozy woozy (they faint)

Genie: Maybe I shouldn't have told them that… oh well. Such is life, full of unexpected surprises. Adventures abound, and whatever is around the next corner is always-

**The Lone Monkey: Blah blah blah. Philosophy sucks.**

**Genie: Hey! You interrupted my soliloquoy!**

**The Lone Monkey: The Lone Monkey can interrupt whoever's soliloquoys he wants! The Lone Monkey is the all-powerful, omnipresent author!**

**Genie: Man, I hate it when you're right.**

**The Lone Monkey: But now this chapter is over! Review if you want more super duper Tales of Sousaphonia! Thanks! Bye.**

**Genie: Grumble grumble grumble…**


End file.
